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Sunday, January 20, 2008

A prayer to the great and powerful NFL

This Article by Chris Mortensen of ESPN prompted me to offer up this prayer.

Oh great and powerful NFL, I am a simple peasant of the nation known as fanhood, I seek the benefit of your wisdom and intelligence.

I am sure the good people of Canada love their football, eh. I imagine the people of London will show you chaps a right food turnout. I am certainly not knocking them. What I just can't get my mind around, is why you are mad at those of us who live in LA, Orange County even. You gave us AL Davis and Carroll Rosenbloom. We blame you completely for Al Davis. Is there no psych eval when you apply to own a team (give it some consideration). As for Rosenbloom, I'd thank you for him, but I really think that right after the Psych eval should come an evaluation of the personal life and possible heirs (look, I wouldn't have thought of it before either but you have to admit we have a pretty good model for crazed inheritance). Even after all that we want you back.

Your preference for warm weather stadiums is known. We are doing our part, we contribute all we can to global warming. and still nothing from you. Oh is that it. It's the Stadium. Look I can't do anything about that. It's not me, I mean I have a nice lot right by my house and you are welcome to play there. Oh, you want something a little larger. I understand that I guess. But I am not asking for a team, I just want one game. I mean the stadium issue is about money right. How much do you think you could get for the seats at the one LA game of the year. Enough to cover the shortage of luxury boxes and capacity.

I mean really, you are never gonna put a team in London quit fooling with it. Even if you want to keep this charade going, at least admit the LA is more likely. By that logic, we should get the occasional exhibition instead of oh, I don't know the country we walked out on.

As for Toronto they for sure aren't getting a team. The Bills aren't moving and the league isn't going to put another team in the same neighborhood as all the other northeast franchises. So again, why not go with the more likely prospect.

So again great and powerful NFL I plead to you, I beg of you, I can only close with. I am ready for some football

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