Want To Tell Me How Wrong I am

Tuesday, October 8, 2013


I lie. I don't mean to. I mean not in the concious, I want to avoid, trouble, ridicule, hurting anothers feelings kind of way. Obviously i consciously made a decision to speak but I don't open my mouth to lie.

My roomate and I are watching The Shining. As the camera pulls you around the corner dragging you along with Danny's seventies version of a big wheel I open my mouth and out comes "Man Kubrick's camera work is amazing. I could turn the sound off and just watch the way he moves you through this" LIAR!!!! No I couldn't. I'm not a film student hell, I'm not even a movie buff. I do like the way he directed. I enjoy his movies. But seriously why would I even say that.

My roomate and I are good friends. I have no social need to impress him with my clever observations. I don't care one bit about the date he was currently snuggling with on the couch. (The fact I'm sitting on the couch while he is trying to watch a date with his movie is a whole other issue I'm sure I'll get to later) Yet still this obvious lie comes pouring over my lips.

We all do this. I have sat in a million bars where a girl who is reasonably good looking walks by and one of us will say. "ooooh, the things I would do with her" You know what he, or I, or any of you would do with that girl? The same shit we would do with any other girl; go on a few dates, enjoy a honeymoon period and then grow aware of every flaw she had while she did the same with our flaws. then we would ease past the stage where the good outweiged those flaws and we would begin to nitpick all of those little flaws. We would grow tired of each other and move on in either a quiet disintegration of our relationship or a cataclysmic blow up. Either way the idea that a girls relative hotness would make anything better is just another lie we all tell.

Society forces some of these lies. Im a father, I have two sons. I love them both dearly. I don't however think they were amazing, intelligent, or even remotely special as babies. They are small crap machines that demand to be fed constantly. Parents of newborns who say "Parenting is the best thing that happened to me" need to develop a little more interesting lives. Stop LYING!!! seriously it's hard ass work and it makes you crazy. You're just setting your friends up for failure by lying to them. You know what post-partum depression is? It's the insecurity that people develop when they dont feel the way all their lying friends told them they were supposed to feel.

We all do it we tell these little dumb lies for absolutely no reason. I mean are we all so uncomfortable with a little silence that we truly feel the need to say something.